undocumented roommates

Celebrities Open Sanctuary Homes Welcoming Undocumented Roommates

A celebrity shocker will go a long way in proving celebrities are ready to back up their words with action regarding those undocumented living in the United States.  Many on the alt-right claim celebrity anger against border walls and immigration laws are hypocritical since none have opened their homes, only their mouths.

Critics like to point to the giant walls around celebrity homes, their personal border walls.  It is similar to the alt-right whine about anti-gun celebrity protests despite the fact many are paid to act in very violent, gun filled movies and have private security who carry guns.  Deplorable as these types of fake critiques are many people get easily confused by them, falling into the trap of believing the celebrity elite don’t live the words they speak.

Many celebrities are tired of being cast as spoiled, rich hypocrites living behind their personal border walls.  Forming the Sanctuary Homes for Undocumented Roommates (SHUR) program.  Celebrities are proving once and for all they are sincere in their words.  Using the Oscars as a backdrop, SHUR was officially announced by Mexican film maker and actor G. G. Burnall stating, “As a Mexican, as a Latin American, as a migrant worker, I’m against any sort of wall that wants to separate us.” His declaration brought rousing applause.

“When we say any sort of wall we mean it.  All walls separating us must come down and tonight we start with our own walls to our own homes.  We will not deny access simply because people lack documentation, this will not separate us. We welcome undocumented roommates and our new Sanctuary Homes for Undocumented Roommates is open and waiting with love for all and hate for none, beyond the deplorables.”

Muriel Strep, in her speech, said she’s prepared her home for her new roommates.  “The refrigerators are stocked, the pools are clean, and my new friends are welcomed to choose any bedroom that feels most like home.  I want them to know we understand their plight, feel for their fear, and welcome them with caring, tolerant hands of love and acceptance.  My mansion in the Hollywood Hills is not far from here and I hope when I return tonight many undocumented roommates are there to welcome us home.”

Strep went on to thank others who joined her in forming SHUR and explained another aspect of the program that reaches beyond helping with housing and food.  SHUR participants will also help with transportation, clothing and more. “SHUR will keep gas in the cars and keys at the ready for our beloved, undocumented roommates.  If they need to get new clothes or cell phones or whatever we’ve even insured there are credit cards available.  They don’t have to worry about obtaining these basic things the deplorables know we all need yet refuse to provide.  Their hearts are callous, ours pure, supportive, and ready to give all we have in order to provide for our new roommates.”

When asked later if there is any hesitation since these people are illegally in the country she rolled her eyes and exclaimed, “PLEASE quit calling them illegal.  You know this country was built on the backs of roommates and these undocumented roommates simply need our love, not our hate and certainly not the on-going illegal label the phobic alt-right crams down our throats day in and day out.”

The Screen Actors Guilt (SAG) is helping coordinate the new effort.  In an email the SAG wrote, “The Sanctuary Homes for Undocumented Roommates program is long overdue.  We are sick and tired of half the people in this country labeling us hypocrites with big mouths and little real action.  Our members have big hearts and big homes.  Not only will our participants feed, clothe, and care for their undocumented roommates they will even make sure their children are cared for as well.  It is clear we cannot rely on this corrupt, sexist, racist, Zionist, Islamaphobic, homophobic, xenophobic, misogynistic, anti-Semitic, Hispanophobic, ruthless, war mongering, dictatorial, Hitlarist, fascist, nationalist, fearmongering administration to do anything but round these poor roommates up and deport them.”

No deplorables are asked to participate.  Robert Denyor, co-chair of SHUR, added, “There will be no basket of deplorables building higher walls, only baskets of bread to feed the fundamental needs of our undocumented roommates, and let’s drop the undocumented from this as soon as we can.  We are tolerant where deplorable thumpers are fearmongering haters deserving of a punch in the face.  We declare our homes sanctuary homes and no law enforcement is welcomed; federal, state or local.”

Democratic leaders across the country took to social media in support of the new celebrity initiative.  Burnme Sanders praised the efforts calling for all rich and all true democratic socialists to join the effort.  “My wife and I are proud of these heroes who stand in defiance of an administration dedicated to the one percenters.  99% of this country knows we owe our gratitude to the roommates who built this country while living in fear.  Shadows will no longer be where they live.  My wife and I are ready to add our three mansions to the list of Sanctuary Homes, no documentation required.”

Hillarious Clinton also added her families many homes, although she did say she will need a basement for her own personal space but all other rooms are available.  Illicitbeth Warrant stated, “My Indian ancestors once welcomed undocumented roommates arriving on the Mayflower.   My heart and many homes will as well open our gates for SHUR. Our family does not need documents to love roommates, and their background is of no concern to us.”

SHUR spokesman, Mad-onya, summed up the program stating, “We know there’s a problem with illegals.  The problem is the label.  There is no illegal roommate, just a bunch of a**wipes afraid to open their homes.  We SHUR are not afraid and we don’t need to see any documentation.  So come to our homes, feel our welcoming, pass through our gates and find sanctuary.”

 

UPDATE:  The SHUR program got off to a rocky start as thousands of undocumented roommates showed up at celebrity homes but celebrities forgot to open their gates.  Police were called by some celebrities demanding those attempting to scale their personal border walls be arrested.  SHUR has not responded to requests for comments regarding the rollout.

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